Super Bowl Superlatives

Oh, what excitement! How glad we are to be sporting in America!

America’s biggest sporting and advertising spectacle has come and gone. And while I could spend lots of time blogging about how great Tom Brady was, obscene Marshawn Lynch gestures or Gronk spikes, I’m not going to. Lots of people will do so, people much more qualified than I. Instead, I’m going to write about the other parts of Super Bowl XLIX: commercials, musical performances and the like. I present to you my first annual…

SUPER BOWL SUPERLATIVES

Best obscure use of a celebrity:

It’s hard not to give this one to Squarespace’s Jeff Bridges Sleeping Tapes campaign. After all, what’s more soothing than a humming Dude to lull you to sleep? But I’m going to roll with Snickers for their use of Danny Trejo and Steve Buscemi in their Brady Bunch spoof. “You get a little hostile when you’re hungry.” Brilliant.

Best iPhone game advertisement:

It wasn’t exactly a loaded category. I mean, is anyone else sick of seeing Kate Upton pretend to be a warrior? Clash of Clans won the night by showing a vengeful Liam Neeson (in a pastry shop!) taking his fury out on an anonymous enemy. Can we trade that premise for Taken 3?

Biggest tear-jerker:

Is this really a question? Puppies + Clydesdale = A classic Budweiser winner

Biggest bummer:

Oh…hey, Budweiser. Nice to see you again. You could’ve stuck with the puppy and been a big winner on the night. Heck, even your Bud Light/Pacman spot wasn’t bad! But then you decided to run a ridiculous and bitter ad attacking the craft beer industry and those who love it. A corporation that takes every opportunity to buy out successful craft breweries shouldn’t be running ads ripping them.

Best musical performance:

Katy Perry rode a tiger, danced with Missy Elliott and rode the “The More You Know” star. And still she couldn’t beat the performer who opened the night. No it wasn’t Adele Dazeem *er* Idina Menzel, though she was great. That distinction goes to John Legend. The man has SOUL.

Weirdest moment:

Now this award applies to the whole night. Football game and all. Many were shocked by the depressing Nationwide commercial with the, “I died,” kid. But in St. Louis, an ad ran about the dangers of heroin use and it is a mind-bender. Effective? Yes. But I’m still not sure how to process it.

Funniest commercial:

There wasn’t much quantity in terms of commercial humor this year. Most ads were either way too weird or way too sad. Out of the few funny ads, Mountain Dew Kickstart had the night’s biggest laughs. It had typical Super Bowl commercial absurdity combined with awful rave music and that perfectly self-aware feel that makes the funniest ads.

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